Embracing a Soft Life: Why It's Okay to Ask for Help

From Survival Mode to Thriving

Before I made some major life changes, I was stuck in survival mode for years. Working in corporate America had me constantly running from one deadline to the next, never feeling like I had time to breathe, let alone thrive.

During a really honest conversation with my partner, I realized something big: I couldn't remember a single day where I felt like I was actually thriving.

Not one day where I could just appreciate life without the weight of pressure and expectation.

That realization hit me hard. I wanted more than just surviving—I wanted to experience the fullness of living. This meant making big changes, including moving to Egypt to be with my partner and completely reimagining how I approach work.

The Danger of "Not Enough"

As authors, we often face a lot of pressure. There's always another book to write, another deadline to meet, another marketing strategy to implement.

When I was planning my book releases, I found myself setting increasingly aggressive timelines. I wanted to write faster, publish more frequently, work harder.

When I finally stopped to ask myself why, the answer was simple but painful: I didn't feel like I was doing enough.

That's a dangerous mentality for anyone, but especially for creatives. It leads to burnout, less joy in our work, a lot of self and creative doubt, and for some? They have to quit.

It's Okay to Ask for Help

One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness—it's actually a sign of strength.

For my recent releases, I hired a PR team to handle promotions. That decision was a total game-changer. It lifted an enormous weight from my shoulders and let me focus on what I love most: the writing itself.

The idea that we should be able to do everything ourselves is just ridiculous. Write the books, market them, design the covers, run the business, maintain a social media presence, and still have energy for our personal lives? Come on.

Delegation isn't failure. It's knowing where your time and energy matter most.

Finding Your Own Rhythm

Another huge part of embracing a softer approach has been figuring out what actually works for me versus what I think should work.

I found that while having things written down helps me remember tasks, rigid schedules and routines actually drain me. Every time I created a new "perfect" schedule, following it felt like a chore I was forcing myself to do.

Instead of trying to follow someone else's productivity advice, I've learned to trust my own rhythms. Some days are for creating like crazy, others for thinking and planning, and some are just for rest—and you know what? They're all equally important.

The Freedom of "Playing It By Ear"

Maybe the biggest thing I've learned is that life doesn't have to follow some predetermined path. We can "play it by ear"—responding to opportunities and challenges as they come up rather than sticking to rigid plans.

This approach gives you more flexibility, more creativity, and honestly? A lot more joy in the process.

At the end of the day, you're always exactly where you need to be. You can change your circumstances at any time, but sometimes you have to go through the stuff you hate to figure out what you love.

All of these realizations led me to embrace what people are now calling a "soft life."

What Living a "Soft Life" Really Means

Contrary to what some might think, living a soft life doesn't mean giving up on ambition or goals. It just means pursuing those goals with more gentleness and self-compassion.

For me, it's about making myself a priority and approaching my work with kindness instead of constant pressure.

Living a soft life doesn't mean you can't be successful. It's redefining what success looks like to include how you feel, not just what you achieve.

It's realizing that how you feel matters just as much as what you accomplish—maybe even more.

Small Steps Toward a Softer Life

If the idea of a "soft life" appeals to you, here are some small ways to begin:

• Question those deadlines you set for yourself. Are they helping you or just stressing you out?
• Notice which tasks drain you and think about who else could handle them
• Take stock of when you feel yourself getting tired and what you do when you feel that way. Do you push through to get the job done? If so, try implementing taking a break, even if it's just one out of the several times you'd normally push through.
• Challenge that voice in your head that says you're "not doing enough"—would you talk to a friend that way?
• Celebrate the small wins instead of immediately rushing to the next goal

How do you balance ambition with gentleness in your own life? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments or on social media.